Now that we have decided to talk about this openly, many have asked us how did it all start. So, we brothers decided to write it all — It all started after we returned from celebrating Dad’s 75th birthday in India. Life felt normal again, and in September, Amit was driving home after Aryan’s volleyball game when he mentioned some pain in his left thigh and lower back. We didn’t think much of it at the time—he applied some Volini, and the pain disappeared. It seemed minor.
Fast forward to October, Amit’s birthday. After another volleyball game with Aryan, Amit came back in pain. We were all at his place to celebrate, but we could see that he was really struggling. We thought it was just back pain from the long drives. But the pain persisted. Soon, Amit couldn’t sleep at night, and fatigue was setting in. He tried everything—cold patches, hot patches, even lying on the floor for days—but nothing worked. After much convincing, he agreed to see the doctor.
The doctors believed it was sciatica and referred Amit to orthopedics. They did CT scans, but nothing showed up. Physical therapy was recommended, but that didn’t help either. By November, Amit’s pain was getting worse, and frustration was mounting. He kept trying different things, but the pain only intensified. After several visits to urgent care and Stanford Emergency, where they noticed his heart rate was high, the doctors still didn’t find the cause. They just managed his pain.
In the midst of all this, Amit refused to let it stop him from enjoying life. We went on a trip to Tahoe and Reno for Christmas with the kids. Despite his pain, Amit drove 4-5 hours each way and even danced at the holiday party, joking that it might help his sciatica. We laughed, but deep down, we were all worried.
Weeks passed, and Amit’s symptoms worsened. His weight was dropping rapidly, he was eating less, and even brushing his teeth left him breathless. By early February, with no clear diagnosis in sight, we decided to bypass the usual doctors and see a neurologist. We also booked tickets to India, hoping for answers there. But even the neurologist was puzzled—there was nothing to operate on, but something seemed off in the scans. We left that appointment frustrated and booked our flights for February 13th.
On February 7th, Netra, Amit’s wife, insisted we see the primary care physician one last time before traveling. During a call with the PCP, the doctor noticed Amit’s heavy breathing and suspected a pulmonary embolism. She sent Amit to the emergency room immediately.
At the ER, things moved quickly. Amit’s eyes had turned pale, his feet had no color, and the doctors knew something was very wrong. They did an upper-body CT scan and blood work, and by 7 PM, the doctor came into the room with devastating news: Amit had advanced-stage cancer, and it had spread to his lungs and other parts. The cancer was leaking blood, causing anemia. Netra and I were with him when the doctor told us, and our hearts sank. But it was when Amit asked me, “Bro, am I done? How much time do you think I have?” that I felt the weight of the moment. It was a question no one ever wants to hear from a loved one. I stood strong, telling him that we’d fight this together as family, that we wouldn’t give up. Doctors reassured us that cancer treatment has made tremendous progress in the past five years. There's a lot of hope for managing and controlling the disease, even if it's not entirely curable. They reminded us how conditions like AIDS, once so feared, are now rarely talked about because of medical advancements, and the same is happen with cancer.
By that night, Amit was admitted to the hospital. No one knew what type of cancer it was yet. He had lost all mobility by this point—he couldn’t even move his toes without severe pain. We spent 8-10 agonizing days waiting for answers, and on February 22nd, we finally got a diagnosis: stage 4 colon cancer. The cancer had spread to his liver, pelvis, femur, spine, and neck. Amit underwent endless tests, a colonoscopy, endoscopy, and scans. His pain was managed with heavy medication, and they immediately began palliative radiation on his left femur and started his first round of chemotherapy.
Through it all, Amit never lost his strength or humor. But watching him go through this journey was heartbreaking for all of us. The diagnosis took months, and by the time we knew what it was, the cancer had spread too far.
Learnings we had along the way
Learnings we had along the way
Journey through his experience taught us a lot about the healthcare system and the difference between diagnosis and treatment in the U.S. and India.
- Relying too much on machines - In the U.S., doctors depend heavily on technology for diagnosis but sometimes miss the bigger picture. Amit’s drastic weight loss went unnoticed by his PCP, Emergency Doctors, Orthopedic, and Neurologist.
- Indian doctors' experience - Doctors in India often deal with a broader range of conditions due to large population, giving them more experience. A relative who is a doctor suspected cancer just from hearing Amit’s symptoms over the phone in less than 15 seconds.
- Ping-pong between doctors - Getting to a diagnosis in the U.S. can feel like endless back and forth between PCP, and specialists. While insurance provides relief and helps once you have a diagnosis, getting to that point can be slow and frustrating.
- Excellent care after diagnosis - Once a diagnosis is made, U.S. doctors are incredibly thorough, and they do everything possible to offer the best care and treatment.
- Nurses are the real heroes - Amit’s nurses are meticulous, kind, and attentive. They handle every detail of his care with compassion and skill, using the latest tools to ensure his comfort.
- Listen to your body - Constant pain, weight loss, and the inability to find the root cause are serious red flags. Don’t ignore your symptoms.
- Colon cancer screenings - The recommended age for colon cancer screenings has lowered to 45. While colonoscopies and endoscopies may not sound pleasant, they’re crucial for early detection. Don’t delay getting checked once you cross 40 (that's my recommendation).
Final Thoughts
Looking back, we’ve realized that India is the best place to get diagnosed, while the U.S. is the best place for treatment once a diagnosis is made. Amit’s journey has taught us that no matter how tough the road is, it’s essential to listen to your body, push for answers, and never give up on finding the right care.